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Figuring myself out

wv_bi_phoenix
20 Jun

I'm a man in my 40's, and I've started to question my sexuality. I had one experience with another man when I was in my 20's just to see what it was like, but felt at the time that a gay/bi relationship would not be fulfilling for me. For 20 years I haven't had a thought about men, however recently I have found myself thinking about sex with a man. I am still attracted to women, but find myself fantasizing about men more and more. To make matters worse, I have been married for some time now and love my wife. I don't want to do anything to damage my marriage unless or until I come to some kind of understanding of what is happening. I don't want to hurt or deceive my wife, but if this is something that isn't going away, I don't want to lie to her and stay in a marriage that will not be satisfying for both of us. I need help or advice.

wv_bi_phoenix
20 Jun

Up until recently, I would have said only women. The past few months, that has changed. I find myself fantasizing about men more and more. It's like a switch has flipped inside my head.

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Cuddes26241
20 Jun

Without hurting anybody, when you're alone at the house try watching some gay porn and see if that stimulates you and gets you off. If it doesn't, then you are a ladies man, but if it does, perhaps you need to experiment with a man somehow, somewhere. You don't want to hurt your wife as you explore you newly discovered sexuality.

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wv_bi_phoenix
20 Jun

I've actually already watched some gay porn, and found that it did work for me. Very well, in fact. Things that never would have triggered me before now seem to get me really excited. BJ videos seem to work especially well for me. I guess now I have to figure out how to experiment without getting caught or hurting anyone's feelings. By the way, thank you for responding to me. It is nice to be able to communicate with someone about this. I just don't have anyone who I feel like I can talk to about this without being forced to make a big decision before I am ready.

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Cuddes26241
22 Jun

@wv_bi_phoenix
I know that I replied to your Email, but I don't see it here. First, I'm always open to answer your questions and make suggestions. I found it difficult being gay when I was young because I didn't know with whom I could discuss such a thing. Things have changed over the years, there are volumes of books to read, gay magazines and newspaper and even in smaller communities there are gay organizations or restuarants/bars where you can meet others with similar problems. Having someone else to discuss your problems is very important.
Feel free to contact me here at anytime.

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