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Meet The Ex-Pope's Hot, Alleged Gay Boyfriend

By Daniel Villarreal

Remember the old Pope (at left with faux-hawk)? The one who said that being gay destroys your humanity?

Yeah, well, rumor is that he'll have his own hot "personal secretary" still serving him post-retirement for the rest of his raggedy life. Georg Ganswein — a man the Italian media called "the George Clooney of the Vatican" — will apparently continue to serve as the ex-Pope's man-secretary even as he helps run the soon-to-be-elected new Pope's household (someone's gotta scrub the Sistine Chapel urinals — the tourists are animals).

Noting the arrangement, priggish, gay Catholic blogger Andrew Sullivan commented, "So Benedict’s handsome male companion will continue to live with him, while working for the other Pope during the day. Are we supposed to think that’s, well, a normal arrangement?"

These rumors are all the richer because of the other gossip floating around that a gay priest scandal caused the Pope to resign in the first place. That's unlikely, but wouldn't it be grand if the head of the church was also queen of the hive?

As Gawker notes, the ex-Pope and his hunky man-servant are certainly handsy with each other. Ganswein has even gone so far as to say that his heart beats a little bit faster in the presence of the ex-Pope (which is exactly how we feel when we see Ian Somerhalder).

But if the ex-Pope and his own personal "Clooney" are actually beating the bishop, so to speak, it will make an interesting background as the new Pope resumes the Church's usual practice of preaching against condoms and us ungodly gays while helping their own pedophile priests avoid criminal charges. Fun!

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