Hi. My name is Mikey. And I like to drink.
I used to love it. Really love it. I think there’s a name for that phase when you love it too much but you’re not an alcoholic yet. What was it? Oh yeah, your twenties.
It’s really no secret to anyone who knows me or anyone who has read my articles. I took a lot of heat when I suggested ways to meet men while traveling, and most involved bars. Though I never associated the bar with alcohol in the article, most people make the connection on their own.
Though I never implied having a cocktail was necessary, I do love them. And yes, it has caused me a couple problems along the way. The relationship between vodka and me has grown over years. I no longer have five Rose Kennedies and swear I can sober up for the 10 minute drive home. I no longer order a shot with every new drink.
Where was I? Oh yes. I enjoy it, responsibly now. Well, my version of responsibly.
My boyfriend and I recently got into a squabble, the words of which left me in a funk for a few days. I went just about as silent as a Malaysian airplane. What happened? He came over with some good news, and we celebrated with cocktails. Then we threw a shot or two in the mix. Then at dinner (to which we took a taxi) we got in an argument that left him using his powerfully quick tongue to put me in my place. No, not in the fun way.
He apologized the next day, and, when we finally saw each other again, he apologized even more. He acknowledged that drinking should never be any excuse for cruelty, but we both know that the tequila played a factor in his words and my reaction. For all of you who say when we drink we only say true things, shut up. Those of us who wish we could take back a few untrue things we’ve said want to hit you when you say that. When we drink and we’re angry, we say what will pierce and we let our mental fact checker take a backseat while we do it.
I knew he really was upset with himself, so I tried to let it go. Then he said the words, “Maybe I should just quit drinking.”
Wait, wait, wait. This was like our third or fourth argument in eight months of dating, and, to be honest, it wasn’t earth shattering. My last boyfriend couldn’t have a glass of whiskey without suspecting me of hitting on every guy in the bar. Plus his apologies were... oh wait… never mind.
What was worse? I didn’t know if I wanted him to give up the booze. Would I have to give up the booze, too? I hate to say it, but having a cocktail can often be a super fun part of our night. We love going to new places, ordering different drinks each time and sampling each others’. When I get back to his place after a long day, I love that he pours me a glass of wine before I need to ask.
If he quit drinking, would I quit? Would it be awkward being the only one in the relationship who drank? It occurred to me. I don’t know if I could date a non-drinker. I’m not saying it’s impossible. I’ve never tried. I’ve also never been with someone and had the relationship turn all When a Man Loves a Woman.
Do I judge the people who don’t drink? Not at all. I commend them for either never giving into something they had little desire to do or for resisting the urge to partake in something they had way too much desire to do. Do they judge me? Maybe. I judge myself all the time so anyone’s invited to join in the fun.
All I know is I enjoy my Rose Kennedy, and I enjoy my cocktail sampling with my man on date night.
“I don’t know if you have to quit drinking,” I told him.
“It’s always tequila that does it for me. I can’t do tequila anymore.”
“Totally. I can live with that.” It’s all about compromise.
What do you think? Do the boys who drink or not drink together stay together or does it make no difference? Or should I just stop writing and walk my ass over to AA?