I totally want to fu*k Frank. I mean, he’s pretty yummy. Broad shoulders, big arms, great ass, and, from what I can tell when he walks around in his underwear, there is no shame necessary, if you know what I mean (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).He’s visiting me from out of town, so adding to the recipe is that fact that I don’t have to trick him into going home with me because that’s where he’s staying! What else can I tell you about this opportunity? Oh yeah. He wanted to have sex, too.
So what happened? Sleep. I have had a love affair my entire life with one vey special someone, and that someone is Sleep. No one has ever successfully managed to break us up. Even crystal meth gave it her best shot in my early 20’s, but at the end of the day, our love was too strong.
(Here’s the part where I kill any chance of one of my readers wanting to fu*k me.) My sex life is dominated by a window of opportunity that runs from morning…maybe 8 AM until about midnight. Though to be honest, I prefer before 11 PM. Then…I get sleepy. Then I go into judgment mode, asking myself, Is this hook-up really better than slowly drifting off into dreamland with Charmedreruns in the background?
When I went home with Trey after the bar few months back, I couldn’t believe I was actually living out this fantasy. Gorgeous black man I had lusted after for nearly a decade but had to wait for him to get through a marriage and realize he might like boys. And did we ever go at it. Clothes off. Kissing. Biting. Rolling around. And then? He was leaving.
“Why are you leaving?” I asked.
“You fell asleep.”
Really, what do you say to that? To me, the window sounds super practical. It’s a difficult thing to explain to others.
Now I am starting to wonder, am I an old man or am I really engaging in some physical manifestation of self-sabotage? After all, if I’m too tired to go home with someone, then I don’t risk being disappointed or, worse, disappointing them. When you’re gay the world becomes a lot smaller and no one wants to be the lousy lay your trick talks about with his gurlfriends during breakfast. I can see it now...
“Mary! Then Mikey wakes up and tries to explain this window thing to me! Am I hooking up in the geriatric ward?”
Maybe I’m just out of practice. I am now going to devote my life to sex after midnight. I’m going to find boys, keep the tv off, and tape my eyelids open if I have to! There will be late night booty in my future!
And one more thing! I will….
Oh, I’ll tell you later. Right now I need a nap.