Every year, Outsports editor Cyd Zeigler kindly provides a gay guide to the Super Bowl so that clueless 'mos (like me) can enjoy the game with half a clue about who's playing.
But his guide also provides a few golden opportunities for gay gab. So, if you're looking to chat during the big game, here's the five gayest things to keep your eyes on (and yes, one of them involves ogling the players):
1) Which Team Uniform Is More Fabulous? - While the Ravens will wear purple uniforms with white trim, the 49ers will wear red jerseys with gold pants. We'd immediately give the fabulous award to the gold pants, but the real question is which team rocks the stretchpants.
2) Which Team is More Pro-Gay? - While Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo says that he wants to use the Super Bowl as a way to draw attention to gay rights, Zeigler points out that the 49ers were the first NFL team to make an It Gets Better Video and that the team's owner and wife occasionally haunt The Castro to talk with gay fans.
Sadly, the 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver tarnished his team's gay friendly cred with his thoughtless comment earlier this week that he wouldn't welcome a gay teammate in his locker room. But he's already begun apologizing for his dumb remark.
3) Will Beyonce Lipsynch During Halftime? - After the rumor that Beyoncé lip-synched her way through the National Anthem during Obama's second inauguration, people are wondering whether she'll do the same for her halftime performance. We're betting yes, especially if she has to do a bunch of choreography. She's good, but she ain't Wonder Woman.
4) How Long Will the Harbaugh Brothers Hug? - The coaches of both teams are actually brothers. And as it is customary for the coaches of the opposing teams to hug immediately after the game, some bookie are taking bets over how long the two will embrace. They're also taking bets over what color Gatorade will be poured over the winning coach.
5) Will Ravens Defensive Back Benard Pollard Be Nakers? - If the Ravens win and we end up with Raven lockeroom interviews, you might want to keep an eye out for Benard Pollard who is known for conducting interviews in the buff. If the 49ers win, you'll have to hope for a towel slip in the background... or else, y'know, just enjoy the interviews for their actual content.