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Frequently Asked Questions

Instant Messaging

  • How do I send someone an instant message?
    To send a message, you must be a member of gay.com and logged in. To send a new message to a user, you can visit their profile and click on the “Message” button located to the right of their profile photo. There are other ways to initiate an instant message, look for the message icon and click on it.
  • How do I know if someone is online?
    If a user is online, there will be a Green circle icon either next to their username, or on top of their profile photo. In some locations you will also see “Last Login: Currently online”. It is best to message online users as they may respond soonest.
  • Where can I see all of my instant messages?
    There is a central page for viewing all of your instant messages from different users. Click here to view your list of members who have sent you instant messages. Each member shows the number of unread instant messages, the total number of messages sent and when the last message was sent or received. To view the full list of messages click on the “View Conversation History” button.
  • What does the instant message bar on the left side of the page do?
    The instant message bar on the left side of the page can be expanded by clicking on the “>” arrow. This instant message bar displays a list of people you have connected with, and your current open instant messages. Your connections are arranged by Friends and then the Lists you have created.
  • How can I block someone from sending me instant messages?
    To block a member, visit their profile and click on the “Block” icon in the top right corner of their profile. This will stop this member from being able to message you.
  • How do I send a photo message?
    To send a photo message, click on the “Add photo” link at the bottom of the instant message window. This will open a file upload window, choose the photo you want to upload and click “open”. This will begin uploading the photo to the instant message window and then send it to the member you are messaging. Supported file types are PNG and JPG.
  • What kind of files can I send in messages?
    Supported file types are PNG and JPG images.
  • Do I have to be a premium member to use instant messaging?
    No, the instant messaging features are available to all logged in gay.com members.
  • Does gay.com offer video messaging?
    Gay.com does not offer video messaging at this time. Video messaging is a feature we hope to launch in the future, stay tuned!


  • How do I join a topic?
    To participate in a topic, you must have a Gay.com account and be logged in. Click on the topic header and start chatting!
  • How do I start a topic?
    To start a topic, you must have a Gay.com account and be logged in. In the Create Topic window, enter a topic title, decide if it's a local or global topic, and click Create Topic. That's it!
  • How do I follow a topic?
    To follow a topic, from that topic window, select ADD TO MY TOPICS from the top right corner of the chat window.
  • How many topics can I follow?
    Premium Gay.com members can follow up to 20 topics. Non-premium Gay.com members can follow 2 topics. If you have exceeded your allotted number of topics to follow, your least recent topic will be removed from your My Topics list.
  • Where did a topic go?
    All topics expire after 5 hours of inactivity.
  • How do I hide a topic?
    To hide a topic from your list of topics, simply click on the "X" icon in the top right corner. This will remove the topic from your list of topics.
  • How do I show hidden topics?
    To show hidden topics, click on the "Show Hidden Topics" link near the top of the page. This will show any hidden topics in the list in orange and clicking on the "<<" arrow will unhide that topic. To hide the topics again, simply click on the "Hide hidden topics" link in the same place!
  • How do I mute someone?
    If you don't want to see someone in a chat topic, hover over one of his messages in a topic thread, and then click on the X to the right of the message. By muting a member, you will not see his responses in any topics.
  • How do I unmute someone?
    To unmute someone, hover over his profile picture from the Muted members in this topic window (to the lower right of the topic chat) and click. This will unmute him in all topics.
  • How do I close a topic?
    If you created the topic, you can close it. Open that chat topic, and click Close Topic underneath the text entry window. This will close the topic for everyone and it cannot be undone.
  • How do I report a topic as abusive/hateful/inapprorpriate?
    If you think a topic is inappropriate for Gay.com, click Report Topic in the upper right corner above the topic title. Then fill out the form and send to customer service. We'll take a look at it right away!
  • Why can't I send a photo file in a Chat topic?
    Chat topics are for chat messages only. If you wish to send a photo, you can do so in one-to-one chat. This is to reduce spam and the sending of malicious files.
  • Why can't I click on a URL in a Chat topic?
    URLs are not clickable in chat. This is to reduce the effect of spammers, such as cam bots, and others who wish to send malicious links. Please be careful when cutting and pasting links from Chat topics!

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